Pee Pal Guy

So here’s the scenario. You’re out at a bar or restaurant, hanging out with friends, having a few drinks. All of a sudden, you feel nature’s call, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. You walk in to find that the gods have smiled upon you; the bathroom is empty. So you pick a urinal, and start to take care of business. All of a sudden, someone else enters the bathroom. Regardless of the fact that you’re using urinal #2 out of 7 and have given this guy plenty of other urinals to choose from, he decides to park himself over at urinal #3. Maybe he’s just a lonely fellow. Maybe he’s gay and wants to sneak a peek at your junk. Maybe he has a chronic phobia of pissing by himself, who knows. But for one reason or another, this guy always makes a beeline for the urinal next to the one being used.

Being there, and having someone just come over next to me and start pissing, it’s confusing. I’m trying to focus on the task at hand while at the same time wondering why he chose me, what it was that made him come over here. It’s like having someone at the bar sit next to you and just watch you drink. There’s no logical reason for it. So now of course I’m trying to finish up, accelerate the process. So you try to give that little push, get the stream out a few seconds faster. Because you don’t know what this guy has planned, you need to just finish up and get out of there. Panic sets in, it’s not going fast enough, you give it another push, and then it happens. You pushed a little too hard, and let out a nice long fart. So now, instead of him being the weirdo that you’d be telling your friends about, you’re the guy that blew ass next to him while he was pissing. The tables have turned, and now you’re that guy. And god forbid it was a wet one, because now you’d have to make the walk of shame into the stall to clean yourself up, all because one guy had to piss next to you. So please Pee Pal Guy, it's time to learn independence and piss on your own. Don't be that guy.

(hat tip to P.O. for the title)

Introductions

P.O.- Hello there, I am P.O. I am a 22 year old college graduate living in Boston, MA. I am a rider of the T, an avid movie-goer as well as frequenting several bars and restaurants around the cities ranging from hole-in-the-wall dives to the extravagant. I work full time at one of the many colleges in Boston and spend my free time trying to escape That Guy.

I go by OD. I'm 23 years old, also living in Boston. I'm a metalhead and an aspiring writer, but in the meantime I'm content to drink frequently and contribute nothing to society.