That Music Store Exhibitionist Guy

Ah yes, my triumphant return with a real entry on time. But wait, you didn't come here for my personal goings-on did you? No. In fact, none of you probably even care about who this is, so back to our irregularly scheduled hate speak. Today I am going to show you that guy who I'm sure any of you who have gone in a music store to buy an instrument, peruse accessories or stare at expensive things you will never own no matter how many extra shifts you pick up at your menial dead-end job frequent; that music store exhibitionist guy.

Who is this guy? Simple. That music store exhibitionist guy is the person who spends hours at the store playing his fingers off on a guitar, showing off on bass or pretending to be a rock star surrounded by his unpurchased amps, for sale signs and other consumers. That guy plays his heart out, and to his merit, tends to actually have some talent. Be it an impressive solo on a guitar, great rhythmic improvisation on bass or impressive beats on drums, that guy piques the attention of all who walk by and sometimes even amasses a small audience to listen to his 'impromptu' performance. But dear reader, do not fall for his ploy, for once you give him the attention that he craves, you are caught in his web.

That guy never plays for himself. No. He plays for others. Every spare moment he has is spent prostrating himself within this wall of instruments, hooked up to an amp, day in day out, hoping to grab a passerbys attention. Unlike a street performer, he does not do it for money, that guy does it for the sheer attention of it. Who knew talent could be offset by such a level of douche.

Along with his strutting around like a rooster, he talks like he is an expert in this field. Despite having technical and musical prowess, he comes off like a cocky Mr. Miyagi. "No no no, you have to play it like this, using an augmented 7th variation on a 3-6-5 progression." Oh, I'm sorry that guy, I can't hear you over the price tag on your guitar and the buckets of shit coming out of your mouth. Just because you have talent in a music store does not give you free reign over the idiot who can't tell the difference between a humbucker and pickguard. Why don't you actually buy your own instrument and practice not being a douche, since apparently you took all your time practicing on not being a douche to play guitar.

Burn in hell that guy. I hope it rains in the store so you get electrocuted and your family has to pay for all the equipment your scorching body ruined and didn't pay for so your grandmother has to be taken off life support and she spends eternity kicking your ass.